Posts Tagged With: Character

Balance

swimming holeYesterday I was listening to some talk radio and over the course of the day the recurring theme of child raising came up.  I heard a fantastic quote on one of the programs that I thought needed to be shared here.
“We are not raising our children to be good children, we are raising them to be good adults.”
Yes, we are.  I think that much too often we focus on keeping our kids children and not looking to the future and what kind of adults they are going to be.
There is a balance there.  A balance between keeping our kids in a safety bubble and letting them run wild.  Finding the middle ground and ensuring we teach them the right skills to negotiate life is where we will develop them to be those good adults that we wish them to be.
It is for this reason that we focus on Citizenship, Character, and Fitness in Scouting and not cranking out Eagle Scouts.  While there are certain rewards for earning the rank of Eagle Scout is far more important that we see in our Scouts that development of Character.  An Eagle Scout without Character does himself and Scouting a disservice.
I am not sure when things went wrong and I certainly do not want to sound like those folks did when we were growing up, you know… walking to School in the snow up hill.. both ways…  Life was not rough when I grew up, and life is no rougher now.  The difference was in our parents then I think.  We stayed out till the street lights came on, we played outside all the time, bumps and bruises were part of life.  Now we did have a lot less distractions then.   We did not have 700 channels on TV, there was no such thing as the internet or cell phones, and once you mastered Pong on the Atari it was time to get back outside.
Our parents may have worried about us, but knew that we would be home when it was time to come home, or when we got hungry.. which ever came first.
I think our parents understood balance.  They understood that we needed to have quiet time and we needed to have loud time.  We did not sit in time out… we got spanked and it was over.  We learned lessons and moved on.
Fighting and making up was a part of being friends.  No drama, just growing up.
Our bikes were made of parts and I don’t think you could find two of the same color.  We made tree forts and fell out of them more times than I can count.  But my mom did not put me in a bubble and make every bad thing in the world disappear.
Balance.  We can place our sons in a bubble and protect them, or we can let them learn about the world by living in it.  I prefer living, knowing boundaries, and getting out there in life’s great adventure.  That is how we raised our kids and they all turned out to be good adults.
We are not raising children to be children, we have enough adults in the world that act that way.  This is why we have adults in the world that still wait for a hand out.  That is why we have adults that are immature and live for the drama of a teenager.  Just look at Facebook at what adults do on it.
We need to raise our young men to be men.
Finding a good balance and watching them develop.
Thoughts?
Have a Great Scouting Day! 

Categories: Character, Citizenship, comments, fitness, Ideals, Leadership, Methods, Oath and Law, respect, Scouting, Scoutmaster minute, Skills, Values | Tags: , , | 7 Comments

The best conference

palmThis weekend I sat with a Scout and talked with him.  It was a Scoutmaster conference, but unlike other Scoutmaster conferences that I have done, this was a first.  It was the first time I sat with a Scout for Eagle Palms.
The conference, like most of my conferences was relaxed and a great conversation.  Now, some may call it favoritism, but every Scoutmaster has those Scouts that seem to part of the conversation all the time.  Those Scouts that have the ability to carry on a good conversation and love to learn from discussion with us.  This is one of those Scouts.  His Eagle Scoutmaster conference lasted the better part of three hours.  We talked about everything.
Saturday while having breakfast was no exception.  A two hour conversation that went from Leadership to College and then to some real philosophical reasoning as to why he earned the Eagle Palm.
It was one of those talks where you listen and watch as this young man tells you why Scouting works.  Not in those words, but you hear it.
Let me share with you the moment that, after about an hour and half, the discussion came full circle and we had that example.
The subject of our trip to Philmont came up during the conference and the experience we had there.  He shared with me that Philmont was where he learned that Scouting is not about the awards and recognition, it is about becoming someone that is a good team member, being part of something great than themselves, and someone that pushes themselves to greater things.  Philmont showed him the journey.   Then I asked him, well why earn the Palms?  You already are an Eagle Scout, why are the Palms important?
He shared with me that when he crossed over and became a Boy Scout, his goal was to be an Eagle Scout and earn as many merit badges as he could.  He wanted to advance, camp, and be an Eagle Scout.
Then, after he earned his First Class, then Star, he became a leader in the Troop.  Then he earned Life and went to the National Jamboree.  His goal to be Life before we left for Jambo, and he did.  That was in 2010.  When he came back from Jamboree he set his sights on earning his Eagle award.  Leadership roles became for important though in our Troop and so as he worked his way to Eagle, he found more rewards in teaching and leading and seeking new adventure.  Finally in December of 2013 we presented his Eagle award.  One of the things that he said at his Eagle Court of Honor was that he was glad that he earned it at age 17 so he has another year to be with the Troop and be an example and leader.  His is now a Junior Assistant Scoutmaster.
The reason that he wanted to earn the Eagle palm was to show the Scouts in our Troop that it can be done.  He already has enough merit badges for three palms, but he has to wait for time in service and leadership.  So it’s not about earning more, it’s about being a Model of expected behavior, “Just like you teach us” he said.
You see for this Scout he learned early on that Scouting is not about the badges, it’s about the journey.  It’s about learning to lead, it’s about adventure and experiences, and it’s about developing those skills that will take him further in life.
He will be heading to college next year and is already looking at ways that he can help the Troop’s Scouts to be better when he’s is gone.  He loves Scouting and wants to give back.
By the way.
He is a member of Student Government, he is a three sport athlete in high school, been to Boys State and a great all around young man.
We both had an Ah Ha moment the other day.
This is why I am a Scoutmaster.
Have a Great Scouting Day! 

Categories: blog, camp skills, Camping | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Talkin’ ’bout my Reputation!

characterAt last nights Troop meeting I began my Scoutmaster minute by talking about reputation.  What is it?  How do we get it?  Do we like it?  And how do we view other people’s reputations?
I gave the Scouts an assignment, one that I am working on myself, you see it may take a bit of time to really think it through.  The assignment was simply to write down what they think or know their reputation is, do they like it, and how do they think they got it.
It all comes down to Character and how you are viewed by others.  Sometimes our reputation fits and sometimes it doesn’t, but more times than not, your reputation is based on how people think you are.  And there in lies the rub.  Why?
What does your character look like that warrants the view from outside eyes.  What do they see?  It’s not hard really, people see you pretty much for who you are, right?  I mean, if you are living the way you ought to then what’s the problem.
I said at the outset that “I Began” the Scoutmaster minute by talking about reputation.  Very rarely does a Scoutmaster minute become a discussion, but last night it did.  We started to talk about the “Why” part in this.  The Scouts shared about some of the things that they see, no one really offered up their own cases.  Then we got into the electronic part of our reputation.  Facebook, Twitter, and the like.
I shared with them a phone discussion that we had recently with a college coach that has been talking with our son about playing football.  He called our son a few weeks ago to check in and to ask a few questions.  His first question was “Hey, do you know so in so…?”  Josh answered that he did know the kid, he went to school with him.  The coach told Josh that he saw that Josh and this kid were “Friends” on Facebook.  Josh said yes, him and a lot of friends.  Then the coach suggested to Josh that he “Un friend” this kid because he “Tags” Josh in pictures and places that Josh may not want to be associated with, especially if he was looking for a college scholarship.
Josh did un friend the kid, after seeing some of the stuff that this kid was putting up for the world to see.
Some of the Scouts thought that this was unfair, that a coach could do this.  I on the other hand think that this coach was looking out for Josh’s reputation and future.  You see, how people see you and how you associate may tell a story about you that you may not like.  Your character is at that point subject to question and therefore your reputation is in jeopardy.
So, the assignment for this week for our Scouts is to take a look at their reputation.  What is it?  How did they get it? and do they like it?  Next week, I am going to ask them what they are doing about it.
I am certain that a quick look at living the Scout Oath and Law will be the fix for some and a reinforcement of the things that they are doing right for others.
The Scouts won’t have to share their assignment, it’s for them, to really look at who they are and how they are seen.
Take a minute and think about your reputation.. I may share my thoughts later, I really need to think about this also.
Have a Great Scouting Day!

Categories: blog, Character, comments, Leadership, Motto, Oath and Law, respect, Scout Law, Scouting, Scoutmaster minute, Scouts, Values | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

Draft Boards

2013-draft-logo-storyTomorrow starts the National Football League Draft.  With much anticipation I’ll be watching to see where the best college players will end up.  Now, I know you are like me and these last couple weeks have been a fever pitch of following the rise and fall of players as they… or I should say their agents jockey the players up and down on the draft boards.  Hours of film and looking at the combine score cards matched with interviews, team visits, and show casing on the sports talk circuit have placed players in position to be drafted to one of the 32 teams of the NFL.
So what’s this all have to do with Scouting?  I know that you would all love to talk football, but we really need to get to the point here.  For more football talk head over to the ESPN College Football blog.  What all this has to do with Scouting is Character.
As I have been following the mock drafts and the trying to keep up with the who’s who and where they are going on the draft board I have been taking a real hard look at the players this year.  What is interesting is that they move up and down the draft board for many reasons.  What I have learned is that coaches, GM’s and the NFL have really taken a turn toward character.
In the past it has seemed that the NFL has over looked character issues.  But like any business the lack of character ultimately will start to hurt the company.  Players like Pac Man Jones can no longer get away with the shenanigans that they used to.  Teams want men that they do not have to baby sit and worry about representing their organization.
Look at the circus around the Manti Te’o “fake girlfriend” issue.  A great football player is more than likely going to drop as low as the third round in the draft.  The fact that he lied is enough of an issue to the NFL GM’s that they consider it a blemish in his character.  The problem I have with this particular case is that Manti Te’o is an Eagle Scout.  In a moment when he could have shared his Scouting values with the world and maintained his place on the draft board, he chose to lie, he made a choice to turn against the Oath and Law.
So what’s the big deal?  Money.  A first round draft pick will make an average of $500 thousand more than a third round pick.  That’s a big hunk of change and that’s just a guess.
Looking at the big name players this year it is easy to see how much character is playing is the board movement.  Geno Smith from West Virginia has been bouncing around because of rumors about his work ethic, LSU’s Tryann Mathieu has been all over the place because of character issues.  Mathieu “the Honey Badger” is a fantastic football player and was expected to go early in the first round.  Now, it looks like he may go as late as the third round.  All because of issues off the field.  Playing the game is no longer enough to get a spot on an NFL roster.
As many of you know, my son is a great football player and there are multiple Division 1 schools looking at him as a prospect to play at the next level.  The one thing that they stress in our visits and communications is education, keeping the grades up and character.  The on the field play is already good enough to be considered.  They really don’t want to have a player that they need to worry about.  They would prefer to focus on the play.
I love to find parallels in life and no matter were I look I find opportunities to live the Oath and Law.  Character is moving multi million dollar football players up and down the draft boards.
I am going to be glued to the draft, at least for the first couple rounds.  After that.. I will follow the players that I have interest in.  You can see the difference between the players that may be shorter on talent and those that drop because of character.  Follow the law and you will get picked higher in life.
Great life lessons always to be learned in Football… and Scouting.
Have a Great Scouting Day!
picture in this post courtesy of http://www.buffalobills.com

Categories: blog, Character, comments, Ideals, Leadership, Oath and Law, Scout Law, Skills, teamwork, Values | Tags: | Leave a comment

Character again…

HOFWe talk a lot about Character and making men of Character in Scouting.  We spend a great deal of time reinforcing the ideals found in the Scout Oath and Law and expect our Scouts to live those values which will lead him to a life in which he will be counted as one that has Character.
I have talked about Character a lot here in this blog and believe that if we do nothing else with these young men, we owe them the very best training in being a man of Character.
I have said it before and I will echo it till the end of time… I really don’t care if a Scout earns his Eagle as long as he develops Character.  His Character will get him much farther in life than a red, white, and blue ribbon with an Eagle suspended from it.  Having said that though, you all know that I want them all to earn their Eagle, but the Eagle award does not make the man, Character does.
I was listening to some sports talk radio today and they were discussing the “steroid Ballot” for the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame.  Now, I am not going to bother getting into the details of the discussion and I also will not share my opinion on the ballot.. well actually I am in a round about way.
The reason that this caught my attention was that to the folks hosting the discussion made it an issue of Character.  And yes sir.. that’s what it is all about.  There was an argument that the guys that are on the ballot that used “Performance enhancing Drugs” were Hall of Famer’s before they used the steroids.. well if they were Hall of Famer’s then.. why did they need to cheat?
Mark McGuire who is the only player that actually admitted to the use of steroids said that it was important for him to “come clean” because at some point he had to look his children in the eye and explain all of this.. and that is what got my attention.
In previous posts I have explained the rule of “Saying it aloud“.  It works every time.  I really liked the idea of McGuire holding himself accountable to his kids.  That is a great rule for character.  We are all accountable to some one and we should act accordingly.
Along with the values of the Oath and Law, knowing that at some point we will have to answer for our actions should force us to act with character.  I was listening to Dennis Prager the other day, he said something that reinforced this idea.  He said he did not care how you feel.. he cares more about how you act.  This too plays a big part in curbing selfish behavior and a lack of character.  We live in an era where people feel entitled and that as long as they feel it is ok, then it is.  On the contrary, we are still accountable for our actions and at the end of the day you will have an effect on someone else.  Knowing that at some point I will have to answer for my actions and that the last people on earth that I ever want to disappoint are my children, I act in accordance with my values.  Does it always make those around me feel great.. No, but at the end of the day they can see that I acted with character.
I have made it a point to always demonstrate good character to my kids.  It has not always been the cool thing and at times it has left them feeling like I am mean-spirited or a jerk, but then they realize that I care and want only the best for them and all of us.
We often use the standard of the Oath and Law in our discussion of wrong and right.  We know that at some point we will all have to answer for a decision we make.  If more people used that standard, the world would simply be a better place.  There would not be spouses cheating on each other, there would be less crime, there would be far less Congressmen… oh I just could not resist, but seriously our leaders would be driven to make better decisions… after all they are accountable to US.. right.
So Barry Bonds, Mark McGuire, and Sammy Sosa all juiced and had amazing stats in baseball… they are all on the ballot for entry in the Hall of Fame.  We don’t get a vote, but can they say they got in as a player that did not cheat?  Just because they all did it, does that make it right?  Not if you are judging based on character.  If they get in they are in and will have to continue answering the questions about steroid use.  If they don’t get in, they will still have to answer for why they did not get in.. the steroid use.  If they were actually Hall of Famer’s before they used.. they should have use McGuire’s standard of how he would answer to those that are most important.. his kids.  Personally I don’t care one way or the other if they are Hall of Famer’s.  To me, they cheated and therefore lose the privilege of being in the Hall of Fame, but then my only vote is how I look at them in regard to their character.  I judge.
As for me, I will use the values I have and the remember that one day I may have to look in my children’s eyes and answer for my actions.  That should be enough to make anyone remember that Character matters more than Eagle Medals or statues in the Hall of Fame.
Have a Great Scouting Day!

Categories: blog, Character, Citizenship, comments, Good Turn Daily, Ideals, Methods, Oath and Law, respect, Values | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Character v. Reputation

Yesterday all over sports talk radio they discussed the recent incident between Tim Tebow and his head coach.  Now I don’t know all the details as they never really got into it, but the jest of the matter is that for obvious reasons Tebow is not to happy about his role on the New York Jets and tried to explain to his coach the reasons he did not want to play in a certain scheme (The Wildcat) when he does not have a real role as a Quarterback on the team.
Having said all of that, and it really does not matter what the conversation between coach and player was, the radio jocks made it an issue of character and reputation.
Even though you may know little about football and or Tim Tebow, it is pretty well-known that he (Tebow) prides himself as a man of character and integrity.  He has often been bashed for his religious convictions and is also often portrayed as a pouting player that has been wronged by his team.  The rumors about his work ethic in practice but his tenacious play while on the field contradict at times and calls into question his character and reputation.
One of the radio personalities asked the question yesterday “What is more important, your character or your reputation?”
Well, the answer to me was simple.  Character is way more important and if you are a person of character, you will never have to worry about your reputation.
If you focus on being a person of values and character and define your life as such… well then that will become your reputation.
A good team-mate, strong work ethic, willing to do what is necessary to help the team.. those are all traits that mark a man of character.
When we let reputation get in the way of our character to be popular, liked, and paid.. then we chip away at our character and as a result that becomes our reputation.
It thought this answer was simple.  What amazed me was how complicated the sports talk radio personalities made it.  They did not seem to get that one leads to the other for good or for ill.
Think about it.  This is a great life lesson and like Tim or not.. he is doing a great job (good and bad examples) of how we should live a life of character.
Have a Great Scouting Day!

Categories: blog, Ideals, Oath and Law, teamwork, Values | Tags: | Leave a comment

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