Ok.. so I posted then went quiet again… What gives?
I am currently being attacked with SPAM here at the blog. It seems that it is all I can do to stay ahead of the spam, thank goodness the filter is doing a pretty good job of catching it…
The news has flooded us with stories about domestic violence in the National Football League lately. I was asked in an email last week why I had not weighed in on the issue yet. Well I suppose I have held out long enough, as you know I have an opinion on just about everything. For me the issue of domestic violence is not one that I associate with the NFL. Domestic violence is far more reaching than Football players. They are just the unfortunate guys in the spotlight. I am not defending Football players, you all know that I love Football. Football players, whether they are college players or professionals in the NFL are easy targets as they are in the spot light living in a fish bowl. In fact I would not defend anyone that engages in domestic violence. The National Center for Women and Policing found that 40% of families of Police Officers are victims of domestic violence. That is two to four times more than the general population.
But we will have to focus on football players, they are in the news.
As a Scoutmaster, this gives me (unfortunately) plenty of material to discuss this subject with our Scouts.
First thing when talking with our Scouts is to be honest about how I feel about this. Simply put I feel that men that engage in domestic violence are cowards. Yep, I said it… these rough and tough football players, police officers, are any man who would hit a woman is a coward.
Men that hit women lack Character. They lack the ability to communicate and have the need to be in control. For some reason they feel that they are the king of their domain and they have the “right” to use physical violence to control those around them.
Again, they lack Character. If their internal compass were to be calibrated correctly they would know that they are off base. Their moral compass is out of whack and they can not see the difference between their actions and reality.
Bottom line is if they did have character they would know that hitting a women, beating a 4-year-old till he bleeds, and keeping those around them in his control is wrong.
I do not understand how a man can hit a women. I have never had that desire. I am bigger, stronger, and can be a lot meaner than my wife. But there would never be a reason that I can think of to hit her.
Communication and coping skills along with my solid moral compass would not allow for it. I do not need the satisfaction of hitting a woman to make me feel more manly.
When talking with our Scouts we need to reinforce those points of the Scout Law that shape our Character. Loyal, Kind, Obedient, and Brave are a few that I feel are important when talking about domestic violence. I think that we need to be Trustworthy to our selves and to those that we love. When we put all of the points of the Law together we set ourselves up to think about our actions and who we are before we act out.
domestic violence is not an option for someone who is in control of themselves and understands that hurting others is not in line with our Promise to help other people and keep ourselves Morally straight.
So what do I think about the NFL and domestic violence. I don’t think it is an NFL problem. I think that it is a problem in general.
I do not think that we need to focus on the NFL commissioner, we need to focus on men that hurt women.
I think that this is an important subject and it needs to be discussed with our scouts. We need to shape them so they do not act this way when they become men.
They may come from a family of abuse. We can help break that cycle.
I do not think that we need to sugar coat the topic and I do not think we need to shy away from it. You will know right away if a Scout or his mom is being abused. This may be uncomfortable for you as a leader, but we have an obligation to care for and love our Scouts like our own sons. If there is something I can do to help a Scout I will, even if that means having a talk with the parents.
This issue can not be swept under the rug and only reported when its a football player. There are systems in place for us as Scouters to help protect our Scout… and his mom.
Now is a great time to have this talk with your Troop.
Domestic Violence, Abuse, and unwelcome sexual advances.. this is a time to tell.
I know that this is a touchy subject and it pains me to have to discuss it also, but we must, for the good of our Scouts.
Now is also a great time to get your Youth Protection training updated. Do it for your Scouts.
Have a Great Scouting Day!